Parents, thank you for teaching your kids to behave in public. For telling them that it’s not okay to burp loudly in restaurants, unless they also excuse themselves just as loudly.
For stopping them from acting like they’re standing before Judge Mathis, Judge Joe Brown, Judge Judy, or another of the tv judges law professors dislike.
For teaching your princes and princesses to be well-mannered lest an adult with a camera phone record them for the next viral YouTube video.
No kids yet for me, so I won’t suggest I know what more you could do to teach them the ways of maturity.
Well, maybe just one thing. Continue reading →
Healthy foods have a serious inferiority complex. That smell is the aroma of insecurity. Recall how much effort their ads spend to persuade us that foods lacking certain ingredients (that wouldn’t be so bad for most people if they’d eat them a bit less often) actually taste good. They beg us to believe that such foods are just as tasty as their original and more desirable counterparts. How well does that work? Continue reading →