I should wear a sticker on my shirts that says “I say things like that,” so that when I say the things I say, no one will look at me like “Are you serious?” Continue reading →
The worst thing about being sick is actually being sick; the second worst part is being sick and lonely.
If forced to choose between the two, I’d rather be heartbroken than seriously ill. When you’re heartbroken, emotionally-intelligent coworkers offer to listen; friends offer to keep you company while you self-medicate with violent apocalyptic video games, cake batter, and “That doesn’t happen in real life” critiques of romantic comedies. Continue reading →
Parents, thank you for teaching your kids to behave in public. For telling them that it’s not okay to burp loudly in restaurants, unless they also excuse themselves just as loudly.
For stopping them from acting like they’re standing before Judge Mathis, Judge Joe Brown, Judge Judy, or another of the tv judges law professors dislike.
For teaching your princes and princesses to be well-mannered lest an adult with a camera phone record them for the next viral YouTube video.
No kids yet for me, so I won’t suggest I know what more you could do to teach them the ways of maturity.
Well, maybe just one thing. Continue reading →