I should wear a sticker on my shirts that says “I say things like that,” so that when I say the things I say, no one will look at me like “Are you serious?”
A few days ago, someone important to my continued employment asked me for ideas on something work-related. This was a small surprise. Normally, I’m just told to do something, and then the Teller of Things to Be Done walks away before I can ask “Cool, I’ve never done that, before; how do we do that… ok.”
Being the thoughtful (not considerate, but I think a lot) person that I am from 9am-5:30pm, I had an answer. I had been reading about issues like this one for a few days, and I had mulled over some what-if scenarios. This was a scenario that I had mulled over. So, I gave my answer.
Teller’s eyes searched the room for a moment while pondering my idea, then looked back at me and asked “So, what makes you think that will work?”
And, because I say things like this, I said “Because I saw it on Law & Order, once.”
A normal person would hear that and walk away confident that there could be no better answer to a legal strategy than to copy one successfully tried on the greatest legal drama, ever. Maybe I had other more substantive reasons for thinking so, but still. Unfortunately, I’d have been better off wearing the sticker I mentioned earlier. Teller, who apparently doesn’t watch legal dramas, looked at me with a narrow-eyed expression like someone waiting for you to save a potentially awkward moment with “Ha, just joking, man. Who really says that? C’mon.”
Except, I didn’t, because I really said that. That’s the sort of thing I say.
In fact, before I could say anything (I wasn’t going to, because I enjoy seeing people deal with uncomfortable silence), Teller said “Wait, that’s a tv show, right?”
I wasn’t sure if I had just been punk’d, or if there’s really a person past age 30 who doesn’t know of Law & Order, even though it was only on tv for 20 years. It felt like a situation where someone admits not knowing something everyone knows or ought to know, but doesn’t know it’s odd for him or her not to know it. That.
I ended up explaining that I read about it being done somewhere else, and it worked because [blah, blah, legal terms those of you reading this don’t care about], and that it would work in our case. Teller pointed back at me with that “I like the way you think” look, and exited the room saying “Go make sure that happens. Excelsior!”
Excelsior? Who says that?